Duncan Writes

The D.I.Y. Disaster Plan – Next City

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:39:53 -0400

The 2011 Bangkok floods were the worst natural disaster in Thai history. Hundreds died, millions were affected and the monetary toll reached the tens of billions. But the outcome could have been even worse had neighborhood-level informal social networks not quickly mobilized to carry out their own responses to the catastrophe. In cities like Bangkok, where government cannot always be counted on during times of crisis, these networks are crucial to people’s survival. But a growing body of research suggests such networks can benefit all cities â indeed, recent storms in New York and New Orleans have shown how important citizen-led response can be as sea levels rise and severe weather becomes more common. Dustin Roasa reports from Bangkok to recount the tale of how one neighborhood, isolated by the rising water, improvised its own disaster response, and how other cities are readying their own informal networks for the era of superstorms. This special issue of Forefront is part of The Rockefeller Foundationâs Informal City Dialogues, a year-long collaboration with Next City exploring stories and insights from six rapidly urbanizing cities around the world.

I hear a lot about survivalists these days — people who are preparing for the apocalypse by building bomb shelters, stocking food and buying guns. But I’m pretty sure what’s going to get us through the next disaster is care, not freeze dried food. Here is a really amazing series of stories about how loving your neighbor will help you survive a disaster.

"Film allows us to examine ourselves in ways earlier societies could not—examine ourselves, imitate..."

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 14:49:29 -0400

“Film allows us to examine ourselves in ways earlier societies could not—examine ourselves, imitate ourselves, extend ourselves, reshape our reality. It permeates our lives, this double vision, and also detaches us, turns some of us into actors doing walk-throughs. In my work, film and television are often linked with disaster. Because this is one of the energies that charges the culture. TV has a sort of panting lust for bad news and calamity as long as it is visual. … This is the force of the culture and the power of the image. And this is also a story we’ve seen updated through the years. It’s the story of the disaffected young man who suspects there are sacred emanations flowing from the media heavens and who feels the only way to enter this holy vortex is through some act of violent theater.”

- Writing from nearby the Boston manhunt, Kirstin Butler ponders a remarkably prescient excerpt from a 1992 interview with Don DeLillo, discussing Libra, his novel about Lee Harvey Oswald. (via explore-blog)

———

Suddenly taken with the idea of an FBI run by Don DeLillo, where all the agents just ask cryptic but somehow penetrating questions rather than try to solve crimes.

Just processing.

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 23:52:28 -0400

It actually took me a while to realize I was growing up.

Watching this kind of drama unfold a dozen times — Oklahoma City, Columbine, September 11th, two wars in Iraq, one in Afghanistan, Somalia — it’s easy to think that I’m living through turbulent times, a unique moment.

But, I also know I’m stepping into a river of history, swept along by a flow of tragedies that has been running for much longer than my lifetime. Unfathomable violence has long been a part of America’s history at home and abroad, and I’m only witnessing the most recent end of it. (I’ve been reading about civil rights workers in the deepest South lately, whose friends and communities were the target of heartbreaking vigilante violence, stuff that would leave me wasted for life, but who recognized it as routine.)

Basically, I don’t want to confuse the new with the new to me. I feel like the awareness that what I’m feeling isn’t just about something new, but also more universally held is necessary for wrestling down all the thoughts and emotions I have right now.

What stands out for me, today, is that I’m feeling less numb than ever. Maybe this is a blessing of my lifestyle, but as new episodes of public violence unfold — Troy Davis, Sandy Hook, Kimani Grey, Guantanamo Bay, Boston — I’m feeling myself more gutted, more invested, more vulnerable, and I think it’s the result of being closer to people and experiences that are connected to these events.

I mean, I know people in Boston in a way I didn’t know even a year ago. Shootings in schools have been a sad part of my life since I was in grade school myself, but it means something different knowing people who teach, or are starting to put kids through school themselves. I’m on the outside of much police violence, but I’ve seen enough capriciousness and cruelty on the part of the prison system to get just a sliver (a tiny, bitter taste) of what it might feel like to be endlessly held with no charges, or to see officers walk free after some new crime. I know people who have traveled to war zones and returned changed.

Maybe the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t think that these waves of violence are going to make us numb. I don’t think we’ll succumb in any new way. I think that people have succeeded in spinning love out of tragedy for as long as we’ve had pain and loss, and I think we’re going to keep doing it. There are perhaps certain ways in which these things will become more immediate and vivid thanks to newfangled technology, but it’s no more or less real than the extraordinary history we already have.

Ultimately, I have a great deal of faith in the people I know who are working hard (so. hard.) to make humanity into a softer, more deeply thoughtful version of itself. There are unspeakable things that people have witnessed, and set their minds to ending. That is the reason people aren’t shot down in the streets any more for demanding fair treatment at work; the reason that we put away certain weapons and not used them again; the reason that you see little red equals signs popping up in your Facebook feed instead of symbols of hate.

I think ultimately we’re all made of good stuff, and I want to keep shaping it into something ever more beautiful.

My depression

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 13:42:44 -0500

I woke up this morning to the news that Aaron Swartz had committed suicide yesterday. I knew Aaron only in passing, but admired his work, and it’s a pretty obvious loss to the world that he is gone.

I wanted to write this because for the last few months depression has once again been playing a prominent role in my personal and professional life both, and I’ve been thinking about how I was going to survive this thing that I now expect will be with me for my entire life.

As a bit of backstory, it’s been a long journey back to a point where I even think about depression in this way — as a disease (of sorts), that persists, rather than as merely a product of emotional circumstance. For a long time I stridently believed it wasn’t in any way a disease, since the medicalization of depression and mental illness works as a crutch for dominant political/economic systems that would rather institutionalize unhappy people than deal with its own bullshit. I still think that: I mean, if you’re not existentially, crushingly overwhelmed by the injustice in the world (at least sometimes), you’re likely not paying attention in all the ways you should be. The medical system that surrounds mental illness is still primarily one that diagnoses and then superficially treats symptoms of capitalism, be it poverty or alienation.

But not everyone is quite leveled by these things in the same way, and I realize now how susceptible some people can be to the overwhelming feeling of despair that I’ve felt at different points in my life. And these things can be inflicted on you too: if you’ve ever seen someone return from war profoundly changed, and unable to cope, you know what I mean. Depression is something that happens to you, and not always in predictable or fair ways.

(Side note: I think it’s really dangerous and revealing to see people pin blame for Aaron’s suicide on government prosecution. It’s obviously unfair and wrong for someone to be threatened like he was, but there are literally millions of people in this country who suffer equal or greater injustices at the hands of the prison industrial complex who do manage to cope. White folks, and people with privilege of different kinds are susceptible to depression and suicide more than others, and the assumption that this could lead someone to kill themselves reflects a privileged worldview that sees prison life as uncommon, rather than routine as it is for many people of color. Additionally, suicide, like mass shootings are contagious, and venerating someone as a martyr to a cause can very easily drive more people to self-harm. )

For my part, when it comes to dealing with my own particular depression, I’ve not (of late) felt like my options were the ones that Aaron apparently thought he had. But the options I thought I had felt rotten and it led me to think about how I was going to actually really confront this thing that was keeping me from friends, lovers and the work that I care so much about. For a couple months I had been walking around different options — in particular, diving deeper into the various interpersonal behaviors that I’ve come to recognize as a form of self harm (like abandoning relationships, quitting jobs, cutting down friends or colleagues, etc. etc.), or trying to enter therapy.

I know people who have used therapy to some success, and I briefly did so as a kid, but looking at what I realize now might be a lifetime of confronting this thing inside me, I really started to despair at the idea that this was my only or best option. For one, it’s expensive, and thinking about a lifetime of $100 an hour sessions felt incredibly burdensome. But more importantly, I didn’t want to leave this thing — which I had to remind myself, is often enough a fatal disease — in the hands of someone I had a business relationship with. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t sustainable, and I felt like I was putting myself in an incredibly precarious position. I didn’t know what would happen if I lost my job, or needed to leave it for other reasons, and I couldn’t let my mental wellness forever be tied to being able to cut checks to doctors on the regular.

Then there is the other thing which is harder to admit, but no less real, which is that I wasn’t quite ready to give up some part of myself to be treated. Depression is hard, it’s awful, but it’s part of the molten primordial stuff that formed the person who I am today, and I know for certain that without some of the episodes of deep, deep loneliness that I’ve passed through, I wouldn’t be in the place I am now, doing the things that I love.

There’s something internal to the attitude of therapy that I never could square with, in the strict medicalization of mental illness as an illness.
It’s incredibly hard to think of something that fundamental to who I am as a disease. It gave me something akin to vertigo, thinking that a basic part of my identity and perception was malformed, twisted in a way that separated me from the reality that other people were perceiving. It was hard to admit that my internal balance, the emotional and intellectual tools that I use to navigate my life were to be treated as if I were broken.

So, after I felt a few episodes of those self destructive behaviors arising in ways that were distressingly beyond my control, I sat down to figure out what I wanted to do. It was hard to parse out some of the things I was considering from those destructive behaviors (is quitting my job removing a source of stress that exacerbates my depression, or is it me ditching a source of joy to hurt myself again?). I also know for a fact I’m going to have to return to this moment again and again, and I had to keep myself from looking for solutions with the assumption that they would be a final resolution, a hope that had led me to hurt myself or others before. But, I think I came to what I hope is a good place, for now.

Here it is: I’m going to talk about this, with more people, and more openly. For one, I’m really really upset about the stigma that people attach to mental illness, and I want to play my part in confronting that, but I also think that starting this conversation with friends is going to be a part of my self-care. Instead of pouring my heart out to someone I’m cutting checks to, I want to walk through these rough patches with friends and allies so that we can be stronger together as a result. It’s not something I can do alone, and being frank about the episodes of depression keeps me from starting down the narcissistic spirals of self-pity that usually put me in my holes to begin with.

I don’t think I quite knew what that meant when I decided this the first time, and I think I should have thought through how to do this much more carefully, so that my first real attempt wouldn’t have had to come under these circumstances, but here it is. This is part of my life, part of who I am, and it’s something I’m going to deal with for the rest of my life. If you’re reading this far, I suspect you’ll be walking on this path with me in some way, and I hope we can walk together with the hope and love we’ll need to fix so many of the other challenges and sadnesses we will need to confront.

This is also my hope that the other people I know and work with who suffer in the same way will find ways to talk about this in their own way. This isn’t easy, but no one should have to take this alone, and I want to be a part of making it easier for folks like Aaron to find the support and community they need to stay alive.

A report from blacked-out Manhattan for the Brooklyn-bound and...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 00:32:00 -0400

A report from blacked-out Manhattan for the Brooklyn-bound and curious.

In short: blacked out Manhattan is creepy, and too full of potholes to ride bikes in safely.

It feels dystopic - more than usual, I mean - the city nearly totally unlit except for official buildings and small pockets of the financial sector. Nearly no one is on the street, so you get the uneasy feeling of constantly being somewhere you’re not supposed to be.

There are big sections of it roped off by people with uniforms of some kind. It feels like they’re hastily hiding a secret, using only the aura of their official capacities to keep things under wrap.

There is a secret that’s been revealed, that we’re all trying to cover up: we may not actually make it through this. Maybe this storm, but there are cracks opening up that might not ever quite close. The warning looks from the people in uniform carry a swagger that hides the vulnerability of confessing that we may be in a losing fight.

The police drive around with their lights always on, and all official buildings are lit up brilliantly from the outside. City hall shines, the tombs glows, police stations have a bureaucratic sheen. The goal is to intimidate the surrounding city into compliance, and they are mostly successful, but the goal is so clearly stated that it becomes too obvious.

The other changes were almost pleasant.

I kept finding myself in places I didn’t expect to be — not quite lost, but sometimes surprised by how differently the city passes by without streetlights, stoplights or backlit landmarks.

The interserctions were a polite wild west. There were no rules, but caution almost always won out. One driver would wave another along, but in order not to seem rude, the second driver would politely decline, and escalating regard for each other would hold up strings of cars at odd streetcorners.

The romance of the blackout is so obvious too. Everyone suddenly has much more privacy, and it’s very tempting to put it to use. Buzzers are broken, phones are out, the internet is down — its quite easy to slide away and become unreachable for hours at a stretch.

Roles reversed, for once Brooklyn was the orangey glow in the distance, rather than Manhattan. Heading North or East, the buildings became cutouts against the brighter night sky. This now is the dim preview of a city under siege from storms that will only grow larger, disasters that will only escalate. But as a practice run for the end of the world, it’s possible to do worse.

tumblinerb: Flatbush Zombies - “Thug Waffle” (Youtube,...

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:02:48 -0500

tumblinerb:

Flatbush Zombies - “Thug Waffle” (Youtube, 2012)

January 4, 2012: Young People and Rap Styles.

This is a rap song about waffles that happens to be quite good, and strange.

Photo

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 13:39:34 -0500

Tomorrow night is chili night!

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:23:39 -0500

Using tumblr all the sudden

itwasntgreat: he was staring at me, scowling. as i passed, he leaned in close to my face and asked...

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:21:51 -0500

itwasntgreat:

he was staring at me, scowling. as i passed, he leaned in close to my face and asked if i was hungry. i wasn’t sure what to say, so i told him i was, that i’d skipped breakfast. he looked startled, blinked a couple of times, and then shouted “well grab a snickers, you skinny motherfucker. and then, beat your parents to death.”

This blog is terrific

sssamsterdam: Still the most satisfying video. Sesame Street -...

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:01:28 -0500

sssamsterdam:

Still the most satisfying video. Sesame Street - How Crayons Are Made (by KitsuneDarkStalker)

Definitely remember watching this as a kid.

McGorelick Park was beautiful yesterday. Brooklyn will treat ya...

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 20:45:55 -0500

McGorelick Park was beautiful yesterday. Brooklyn will treat ya right if you let it.

rosesforstalin: the right wing says ‘tax-payers’, means ‘white...

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 08:55:24 -0400

rosesforstalin:

the right wing says ‘tax-payers’, means ‘white people’.

Long list of free summer stuff in NYC

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 18:00:44 -0400

from NonsenseNYC:

* Films in Tompkins. July 7: Coming to America; July 14: The Warriors; July 21: Star Trek; July 28: Arthur; August 4: The Pope of Greenwhich Village; August 11: Kick-Ass; August 18: Rosemary’s Baby; August 25: The Godfather; September 1: Stake Land. THURSDAYS, gates open at 6p, screening starts at sundown, Tompkins Square Park, Avenue A and 7th Street, Manhattan. $free. filmsintompkins.com

* Summer Screen at McCarren. July 6: Friday; July 13: Wayne’s World; July 20: Ghost World; July 27: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; August 3: Chelsea; August 10: Jurassic Park. WEDNESDAYS. McCarren Park Ballfields, Bedford Avenue and North 12th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. $free. summerscreen.org

* Williamsburg Waterfront Concert Series. July 29: They Might Be Giants, Eugene Mirman and Pretty Good Friends with Kristen Schaal, Surprise Guests. Brooklyn. Doors at 5:30p, East River State Park, North 9th Street and Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. $free. osanb.org

* The Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy. July 7: Manhattan; July 10-11: Henry V; July 13: The Metropolitan Opera Summer Recital Series; July 14: Ghostbusters; July 20: Brooklyn Bridge Tour — A Link Between Two Cities with the Brooklyn Historical Society; July 21: Sweet Smell of Success; July 28: Basquiat; July 30-21: Romeo and Juliet; August 2: Randy Weston; August 3: History Tour — Brooklyn’s Industrial Waterfront with the Brooklyn Historical Society; August 4: An American Tail; August 11: Breakfast at Tiffany’s; August 18: Crooklyn; August 19: PuppetMobile presents Bessie’s Big Shot; August 24 and 27: 235th Anniversary of the Battle of Brooklyn; August 25: Rosemary’s Baby. Various times, Brooklyn. $free. brooklynbridgepark.org

* Socrates Sculpture Park, Outdoor Cinema 2011. July 6: Clermont-Ferrand Short Films (International); July 13: Who Wants to Kill Jesse (Czech Republic); July 20: Caramel (Lebanon); July 27: The Good, The Bad, The Weird (Korea); August 3: The Straight Story (USA); August 10: At the Edge of Russia (Russia); August 17: Biutiful (Spain); August 24: Silent Film Fest. WEDNESDAYS. Pre-screening performance begins at 7p, movies begin at dusk, Vernon Boulevard and Broadway, Queens. $free. socratessculpturepark.org

* Hudson River Park. July 6: The Social Network; July 8: The Karate Kid; July 10: David Berger Jazz Orchestra; July 12: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; July 13: Easy A; July 14: Tune Yards, Austra; July 15: Despicable Me; July 17: Los Hermanos Colon; July 19: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; July 20: The Kids Are All Right; July 22: The Princess Bride; July 24: Octavio Brunetti’s Apeadero Sur Tango Orchestra; July 26: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; July 27: The Other Guys; July 28: Metronomy, Class Actress; July 29: Toy Story 3; July 31: Nu D’Lux; August 2: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; August 3: The Fighter; August 4: Rumble on the River; August 5: How to Train Your Dragon; August 7: George Gee Swing Orchestra; August 9: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; August 10: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World; August 11: Deer Tick, DOM; August 12: Shrek Forever After; August 16: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; August 17: The Town; August 19: Tangled; August 21: Blues Barbecue. Various times, Manhattan. $free. hudsonriverpar
k.org

* Celebrate Brooklyn, Prospect Park Bandshell. July 1: Steel Pulse, Natural Expression Rhythm Band; July 7: Court Yard Hounds, The Abrams Brothers; July 8: Los Lobos, Hello Seahorse, Zigmat; July 9: Lyricist Lounge featuring Raekwon, Smif-N-Wesson, Joell Ortiz; July 14: Frankie Gavin and De Dannan, Liam O Maonlai, McPeake; July 15: Shirley Caesar, Vy Higginsen’s Gospel for Teens Choir; July 16: Dan Zanes with the Brooklyn Youth Orchestra and Bed Stuy Veterans; July 21: West Side Story dance and sing-along; July 22: Seun Kuti and Egypt 80, Faaji Agba; July 23: The Feelies, Real Estate, Times New Viking; July 28: Mark Morris Dance Group with the Brooklyn Philharmonic and the Brooklyn Interdenominational Choir; July 29: Oumou Sangare, Bassam Saba; July 30: Dr. John and the Lower 911, Chuck Brown, Red Baraat; August 4: Metropolis with the Alloy Orchestra and Marika Hughes; August 5: Ra Ra Riot, Delicate Steve, Buke and Gass; August 6: Ailey II- Revelations. Various times, Prospec
t Park West and 9th Street, Brooklyn. $free. bricartsmedia.org

* Seaport Music. July 1: Lower Dens, Dirty Beaches; July 8: The Wake, Weekend; July 9: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists; July 15: The Radio Dept., Asobi Seksu; July 16: 4Knots Music Festival. Various times, South Street Seaport, Pier 17, Manhattan. $free. seaportmusicfestival.com

* Intrepid Free Summer Movie Series. July 8: The Goonies; July 22: Back to the Future; August 5: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial; August 19: Jurassic Park. Doors at 5:30pm, screening starts at sunset, West 46th Street and 12th Avenue, Manhattan. intrepidmuseum.org

* Central Park Summer Stage Concert series. July 2: Roy Ayers and the Jazz Mafia Symphony; July 3: RAM, Group Doueh, Baloji, Globesonic Sound System; July 6: Jarbe de Palo, Ely Guerra, Novalima, Mr. Pauer; July 9: ChocQuib Town, Rita Indiana, Ursula 1000, Que Bajo?!; July 11: The Metropolitan Summer Recital Series; July 15-16: Armitage Gone! Dance, Vijay Iyer with Dance Grand Moultrie; July 17: Pink Martini; July 18: Levon Helm Band, Emmylou Harris, Hayes Carll; July 23: Keigwin and Company / Creative Outlet Dance Theatre of Brooklyn; July 24: Marcelo D2, Pitty, DJ Nuts; July 27: Wanda Jackson, Imelda May; July 30: Forces of Dance Theatre; July 31: Yemen Blues, Watcha Clan, Shabate, Awesome Tapes from Africa; August 6: Shelebration!; August 7: Friendly Fires, the Naked and Famous, Cults; August 10: Joe Bataan, Johnny Colon, DJ Turmix, We Like it Like That — The Story of Latin Boogalo screening; August 13: Henry Santos; August 14: Gospel Explosion; August 17: Sangre; August 2
0: Tiken Jah Fakoly, Meta and the Cornerstones, Los Rakas; August 21: Rakim, EPMD, FunkMaster Flex; August 28: Jagged Edge, Avant, Melanie Fiona. Various times, Rumsey Playfield, 69th Street and Fifth Avenue, Manhattan. $free. summerstage.org

* Red Hook Summer Movies. July 12: Men in Black; July 19: Bring It On; July 26: Lords of Dogtown; August 2: Wall-E; August 9: The Karate Kid; August 16: The Fast and the Furious; August 23: The Iron Giant; August 30: Pump Up the Volume; September 6: Highlander; September 13: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. TUESDAYS, seating at 8pm, screenings at 8:30p, Valentino Pier, Red Hook, Brooklyn. $free. redhookfilms.org

* Beekman Beer Garden. July 10: Cheeseburger; July 17: X-Ray Eyeballs, Frankie Rose and the Outs, The Babies; July 24: The Swirlies, Psychedelic Horseshit; July 31: The Raveonettes, Eternal Summers; August 7: Mission of Burma. SUNDAYS, 3p, Northside Pier 17, South Street Seaport, Manhattan. $free. seaportmusicfestival.com

* HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival. July 4: Easy Rider; July 11: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes; July 18: In the Heat of the Night; July 25: The Lady Eye; August 1: Cool Hand Luke; August 8: Airplane; August 15: High Sierra; August 22: Dirty Harry. MONDAYS, lawn opens at 5pm, screening starts at sunset, 6th Avenue and 42nd Street, Manhattan. $free. bryantpark.org

* Coney Island Flicks on the Beach. July 11: Saturday Night Fever; July 18: Rango; July 25: Top Gun; August 1: Iron Man 2; August 8: Annie Hall; August 15: Moonstruck; August 22: Justin Beiber: Never Say Never; August 29: How She Move. MONDAYS, screening starts at dusk, West 10th Street, Coney Island, Brooklyn. $free. thecidc.org

* Washington Square Music Festival. July 12: Opera in the Park; July 19: The Joy of Unfamiliar Music; July 26: Music Making by the Master; August 2: The Charles Mingues Orchestra. TUESDAYS, 8pm, Main Stage, Washington Square Park, Manhattan. $free. washingtonsquaremusicfestival.org

* River to River Festival at Castle Clinton. July 7: My Brightest Diamond, yMusic; July 14: Patti Smith. THURSDAYS, 7pm, Castle Clinton, Battery Park, Manhattan. $free. rivertorivernyc.com

Poll: Public Understanding of Climate Science Rebounds, Majority See Environment vs. Economy as a ‘False Choice’ | ThinkProgress

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 21:48:34 -0400

Poll: Public Understanding of Climate Science Rebounds, Majority See Environment vs. Economy as a ‘False Choice’ | ThinkProgress

soupsoup: What a photo.

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:06:46 -0400

soupsoup:

What a photo.

theargumentativetheoryofreasoning - hugomercier

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:17:06 -0400

theargumentativetheoryofreasoning - hugomercier

Dinner tonight

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 00:36:26 -0400

It’s after dinner and my friend Drew is walking slowly around the memories he’s expected to have of combat in Afghanistan.

“It’s not like… ‘what did I do yesterday, I don’t remember.’ There are just…. things that you don’t remember. There are important things, stuff that matters… like shooting… shooting at people. When I was in a firefight, I remember discharging my weapon maybe… 4 or 5 times. But afterwards, two thirds of my magazine was gone. I don’t remember anywhere from a third to maybe… seventy five percent of what happened.”

In the pauses I watch him reassemble key moments, and then attempt to translate them into words that might make sense. He’s here, present, but I can tell that the language and culture of the Army in Afghanistan still have a hold on parts of him.

“I do remember that at some point, we… that is the big plat we… dropped a couple of mortars… shot some mortars… on them. What I don’t remember is that I was the person that called them in. These are things that people had to tell me afterwards.”

We’re discussing how Americans try to relate to the war. The three of us – Drew, his partner Molly, and me – compare films and photographs, particularly those of famous late war journalists, dismissing those which try to tell a too complete, too dramatic view of the war.

“Any way you put it, they still benefit from the wars… they’re war mongers… what ever their intentions… the definition of a war monger is someone who profits from war…”

These are films that try to convince us of the outsize drama of war, and earn photographers mantles of bravery. Distant, the war takes place on an alien surface of rocks and sudden violence. But the war isn’t some foreign affair. It’s taking place here, in America, in the lives of our 20-somethings, in boardrooms, in the Halls of Congress. In my living room, now. To understand it, we have to see it in the prosaic details.

Our conversation shifts back and forth from odd ends of his latest tour, to the shared fate of Americans today.

“I’m sorry I keep talking about Afghanistan… I guess it’s just my context or whatever… but I think it really explains a lot about our situation… I know it’s hard for most Americans to think about, but really…”

This war has been the background noise to my entire political education. The thought of how to end it rarely occurs to me, it has become so engrained in our culture. There just is an Afghanistan war.

“I think it’s actually why our economy is still shitty. I mean, it’s 4 trillion dollars – y’know, since it started every year, all added up – that’s gone to what? To trying to build a culture of Democracy? To bring the Afghani government closer to it’s people? The only time most Afghanis hear from their government is when the Army or Police show up, and that’s always at the prerogative of the Americans.”

Sometimes I just have to let him talk through to the end of a tangled thought.

“We’re continuing this war for the flimsiest of reasons… the only excuse left is the Commander in Chief’s so called political capital… like that’s worked out well for him… being there you literally can’t tell the difference between official US troops and the Halliburtons or the Oshkosh or whatever…”

Story after story of waste and nepotism come drifting out. Quagmire isn’t even enough of a word to describe it. If there was a war to win, it’s lost.

“Right now, we’re marching into the sea. And I’m not OK with that at all.”

Many thanks to bike gods of NYC who have kept my wrecks to...

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 23:12:19 -0400

Many thanks to bike gods of NYC who have kept my wrecks to scrapes, bruises and one bent wheel. Got new scars on top of old scars from hitting a pothole in the rain tonight. First scars came from a wreck in Georgia 4 yrs ago. No one stopped to help then, but in the pouring brooklyn rain, 3 nice folks stopped to help me out. Lesson: Southern Hospitality is bullshit.

It had to happen eventually.

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 01:44:32 -0400